Is Ever Going To Believe Us Again
by Lirael Alpha Orionis
Summary: Post 2x07. They retract Genoa and it's a disaster. Everyone needs some company that night.
1. Chapter 1

Mac knocks on Will's apartment door. It's been a hellish week. They'd retracted Genoa that night, and she's strung out and wired while simultaneously feeling the crushing depression of what could possibly be her career ending.

All she wants to do is see Will. She doesn't know why, precisely, she is at his door, but she knows she wants to be. Things had gone crazy at the office after her announcement, and she hasn't been able to see him since. She needs to talk to him. To figure this out. To fix this disaster. Besides which, despite his smugness and his bossiness and his deliberately intimidating persona, she finds his presence soothing. She could use a little of that right now.

There is a longish pause before Will opens the door.

"Mac," he says. "What are you doing here?"

"I just thought we could-" She doesn't finish her sentence though, because behind Will she sees Nina Howard sitting on the couch.

Mac looks at Will in confusion. She isn't sure what she's seeing. The expression on his face answers her question.

"I- oh my God. Nina Howard."

Nina stands up, putting her wine glass down on the coffee table.

Mac looks back at Will. "Oh. Sure. Okay. No problem. We can- another time." She's feigning indifference. Badly.

"Mac, this isn't-"

"This isn't what it looks like? I think it is. Okay, I'll see you- Bye, Nina."

Nina half raises her hand in acknowledgement and Mac turns to go.

"Mac, wait!" Willl says.

She doesn't.

Will starts to go after her. He stops, remembering Nina still standing in his apartment. He moves towards the door again, and pauses.

"It's alright," Nina says. "You can go after her." Her face is unreadable.

"Nina. I'm sorry." He means it.

"I know. But I knew I only ever had you on loan."

He wants to tell Nina that he's not going after Mac to declare his undying love for her or anything like that, but that would take too long to explain, and she's already at the elevators.

Nina wants to tell him not to go. She wants him to stay, but she knows he won't. She's heard the voice mail, she knew what she was getting into. She just didn't expect to fall so hard, or at all. That was Will McAvoy for you, though. Why else would she have been there after he'd already broken up with her once.

"I'll show myself out," she says.

"Thank you," he says, and runs after Mac.

He gets to the elevators and she's already gone. He can see the light going down the numbers above the door.

He jabs the button repeatedly and aggressively, watching the second elevator ascend at a snail's pace to his floor. It finally arrives and he shoves in.

He doesn't want to think about why he's so desperate to explain the situation. He just doesn't want Mac thinking he and Nina are a thing anymore.

The door opens in the lobby and he sees Mac outside, waving for a cab on the street.

"What are you doing?" She says when she sees him. "Why are you down here? You seem to be having a lovely evening with-"

"We're not together," he says.

"So you're just sleeping together. Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"I- no. Why would I need to make you feel better? I'm a single adult. I can date whomever I like. You gave up the right to have a say in who I'm sleeping with a while back."

"I know, I know. I didn't mean to say that. I'm just tired."

"So am I. Look- listen."

Mac sticks out her arm again and a taxi slows. Will waves it away.

"Hey!"

"I'll have you taken home. Just listen for a minute. Nina and I were together, earlier this year."

Mac shifts back and forth on her feet.

"We were together, and I broke it off after that fiasco with the morning show."

Mac is tired enough to laugh at that. "You broke up with her because you threw a football into a light stand? That's ridiculous."

"I know. But we're not together anymore. I mean, I see her sometimes, but it's not serious. I just called her tonight because I wanted to spend time with someone."

Mac hesitates. "You could have called me. Why didn't you want to spend time with me?"

"I called her tonight because I didn't want to presume you wanted company, and I didn't want to go home after that shitshow and watch it repeat all night on TV." That's sort of the truth. He'd wanted to talk to someone familiar, someone easy, but without the years of complications he had with Mac. Also, he'd sort of wanted to get laid.

Mac tilts her head at him. "Well, I do want company. Christ, Will, I was in Afghanistan for three years and this was still the worst night of my career. If I even have a career anymore."

"You do, Mac. Things look bad now, but they won't stay this way."

She shrugs. "I wish I could believe you."

"Come inside for a minute. Have you eaten? I can make you dinner."

She gives a strangled laugh. "Will it be leftovers from what you made Nina?"

"No, we didn't- that's not important. Just come inside."

"Alright." Mac agrees, because it's actually what she wants.

They ride back up the elevator in silence. Mac leans against the wall.

Will is relieved to find Nina gone when they get inside. He knew she would be, but he's relieved anyway. He trusts Nina, in a way he never thought he'd trust a gossip columnist.

They're in his kitchen before anyone says anything again.

"Coffee?" Will asks. "Wine? Beer? Water?"

"Whiskey," Mac says, half joking.

"Coming up."

He pours them both a glass, and Mac downs hers in one, wincing a little.

"That's expensive," he says. "You should sip it."

He dumps a bunch of crackers onto a plate and puts a block of cheese beside it. Inelegant, but nutritious.

He has some of his whiskey, and pours Mac another one.

She drinks this one more slowly, eating crackers almost automatically. She's gone quiet and he's not sure what the best course of action is.

"What did you tell Nina?" She asks suddenly. "To kick her out?"

Will goes with the truth, or most of it. "I didn't kick her out. She left. She knew how insane today was for us, and she figured you wanted to talk about it. It was no big deal."

"Was that all?"

"Yeah." One more lie for the pile. "Do you want to sit?"

Mac nods, and takes her drink to the couch. Nina's wine is still on the table. Mac pretends not to see it.

Will takes a seat at the opposite end. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asks. "Genoa."

"Not really. I just can't understand how it happened. I can't understand how he could do something like that!" She's angry. "Doesn't he know what he's done? How did I not see what was happening? _How did I miss it?_" Her voice cracks.

"We all missed it. It wasn't just you. I missed it, Charlie missed it."

"So instead of it just being a mistake I made, it was a mistake I oversaw a team of people making. Outstanding." She finishes her second glass of whiskey and slams it down on the table.

She looks close to cracking. She props her elbows on her knees and drops her head into her hands.

Will knows what the Genoa mistake means. He knows what it means for them personally, and for ACN. He's furious at a great many people, including himself. He's disappointed, and worried about his career, and he's feeling everything that Mac is, but she's feeling it more right now.

He had two things to offer: commiseration or comfort. He could say, _I know, fuck him, fuck everybody, this is a big fucking disaster_, or he could say, _we'll fix this, it'll be alright_. He chooses comfort.

"It'll be alright," he says. She doesn't move.

He slides along the couch until he's close enough to touch her. He puts a hand between her shoulder blades and rubs gently.

"It's okay, Mac." He wonders why she's not responding until he sees a tear drip out from between her fingers and feels her back shake. She's not answering because she doesn't want to be crying. The way she's breathing gives her away.

He closes his other hand gently around one of her wrists.

"Come on," he says. "Sit with me."

He tugs her upright back into the couch and puts his arm around her shoulder.

She leans into him and sniffles against the front of his sweater. After a moment, she tucks her legs up onto the couch too, and wraps her arm around him.

They sit this way for a while. Mac's breathing becomes less ragged, and Will finds he relaxes along with her, as if she was somehow in charge of his respiratory system.

"What are we going to do?" She says softly. "How am I going to fix this?"

He knows she's talking about Genoa, though her words could mean something else.

"We'll deal with it," he says.

"That's it?"

"Yeah. We'll just deal with it."

"Okay."

They go back to being silent, and after a minute Will looks down to see Mac is asleep.

He tries to breathe steadily and not to move. He doesn't want to wake her. Because if she wakes up, it will probably be to go home and sleep properly in her bed, and he doesn't want her to leave. If he waits long enough, it will get to be so late that sleeping in his guest room will be a viable option. He usually likes living alone, but sometimes he wishes there was someone else there.

He makes a conscious effort to shut his mind up so that he can maybe relax.

He dozes on and off for a bit, but eventually needs to move or have a leg seize up.

He tries to get up as gently as possible, but knows there's no way to do it without waking Mac.

"What," she mumbles.

"It's really late," he says. "You were asleep. Do you want to stay here on the couch, or maybe in a bed?"

She nods.

He stands, and she does too.

Mac had been very tired, and very deeply asleep. She barely opens her eyes as he leads her through his apartment. She focuses enough, however, to purposefully bypass the guest room and stumble into his room.

She sits down on the edge of his bed. She pries an eye open to look at him. "Okay?"

It is both incredibly okay and not okay at the same time. Sleeping in the same bed with Mackenzie? Definitely yes. He just doesn't know if he's ready for it.

Okay wins, mostly because she has flopped down onto the pillow.

He works the blanket out from under her, and she wriggles into it. She's still fully dressed in skirt, nylons, blouse, everything. He knows it won't be comfortable to sleep like that, but it looks like it's too late.

He changes into sweats and a t-shirt, brushes his teeth and washes his face. When he comes back, Mac is snuggled deep into the blankets on what had traditionally been her side of the bed. It makes him feel something he's not sure what to call. He can see her blouse, bra, nylons, and skirt on the floor. A quick calculation he doesn't mean to make informs him this leaves her in a camisole and underwear.

Will slides in next to her, grateful to be finally horizontal on his perfect, expensive mattress after what he's sure will go down on record as being the longest day of his life.

Mac reaches back for him in a gesture he remembers.

He snuggles in behind her and she wraps his arm around her waist.

They take a moment to get comfortable, and then it's like he hasn't been this comfortable in years.

He presses his nose into her hair, and kisses her lightly on the back of her neck, and then they both fall asleep.

Will wakes up early to Mac shifting around. He can see the sky just turning blue; they can't have been asleep for that long. His eyes feel like they're full of sand and his body aches with the stress of the day before.

Mac stretches and rolls into him. He can't tell if she's awake. He suspects she is pretending to be asleep, a suspicion which is confirmed when she hooks her leg over his in a manner slightly too deliberate for an unconscious person.

She flexes her fingers on his chest and traces a pattern. She works her hand up his body to his neck, brushing the skin there, before moving into his hair and running her nails along his scalp.

Will shivers.

Mac pulls herself up so that she can see his face and Will finally opens his eyes.

She is inches away from him, black make-up smudged under her eyes and along her temple, hair a tangle, her cheeks flushed. She bites her bottom lip, and Will's eyes are drawn to the movement. She looks so beautiful, and Will wants her so badly, that he does the only thing he can think of.

He moves away as fast as possible. He slides out from under her and off the bed. "Morning," he says, shutting the ensuite bathroom door behind him.

He takes his time, and when he comes back, she is dressed in yesterday's clothes and making the bed.

"Don't worry about it," he says. "You don't have to do that."

"No, it's fine." She's moving around with a liveliness he wouldn't have thought possible at this hour and after yesterday. "I should get in to work."

"It's early. Stay and have breakfast."

"No, thanks. I'm going to go."

She moves through his apartment, collecting her bag and shoes.

Why does he feel nineteen, and that Mac is a girl he picked up for a one-night stand who's leaving his dorm early so she can avoid the walk of shame.

He unlocks the door for her, since he can't seem to stop her from going. He knows it's his fault though, for practically shoving her away.

She finishes jamming her other shoe on and turns to him.

"Thank you for letting me stay," she says.

"Sure. Anytime." He wonders if she can tell he means it. Probably not.

"I'll see you in the office."

"Yeah."

She shuts the door behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

The week only gets worse. The American public is furious, and media outlets around the world are both chastising and laughing at them. Their numbers drop like mad. The ACN board hits the roof, and the Lansings yell at everyone in turns, and then all at once.

It's finally Friday and Will couldn't be more thrilled to go home and spend the next two days drinking and smoking, televisions off.

He's packing up his things after the show when Mac comes into his office. They haven't really spoken since she slept over, they'd only flailed around trying to put on half-decent shows for the rest of the week.

"I just got a voice message from Reese," she says. "They want to see us this weekend with the lawyers."

"Fuck," Will says. That does away with his plans for drug-induced oblivion.

Mac looks worn down and her eyebrows are pulled together in what has become a permanent expression of anxiety. He wants to make her feel better, so he makes a joke about voice mail.

"I thought for sure you would have used this opportunity to make a tenuous segue and ask about the voice message I left you. The one you wouldn't stop talking about for months."

Mac's eyes go wide in shock. She looks taken aback. Come to think of it, she had stopped asking rather suddenly, and he doesn't know why. Maybe this wasn't the best conversation to have started.

"Oh," she says. "It's okay. I just decided to stop bugging you about it. I figured you really couldn't remember. Actually, no. I don't know why I said that. Nina told me what it said."

Will is stunned. "She did?"

"Yeah. And it's okay. The reason I kept asking is that I thought you might have said something about not- not hating me anymore. About still being interested. And you didn't, so."

Will feels his heart falling through to his feet. Mac had stopped asking after she'd found out what he said? She must be over him. But then he's confused. "She told you what it said? How do you get from that that I'm not interested?"

"Well, I was hoping it would say- I was hoping it said you still have feelings for me, even just a little, and that you might want to try again. Because I'm sorry, Will. I am so sorry, and I don't know what else I can do. I don't know how to make it right."

Will is not any less confused. "Wait. Hold on. What did she tell you the message said?"

"That you were calling to say what a good job I'd done that night, with the show. It wasn't what I thought, and I felt stupid. And then you started dating her, and I thought it was truly over."

Will can't remember the last time they had a conversation this honest. He huffs out a sigh. "Fuck."

"What?"

"That's not what the message said."

"It's not?"

"No. It said-"

Mac looks at him expectantly.

Will wants to bail. He goes for his favourite form of the truth: half of it. "It said that I do still have feelings for you. You were right. I didn't forget."

He's not going to say exactly what those feelings are. Phrases like I never stopped loving you didn't seem quite right when uttered in his office at 9:30 on a Friday night. Although come to think of it, it might be weirdly appropriate.

He looks up at her, and her expression either makes him wish he'd never said it, or wish he'd said it months ago.

She doesn't go for the topic he expects. That is, his feelings.

"Why did you tell me you'd forgotten?" She says. "Was it really just something you said because you were high? Did you not mean it?"

"I wasn't ready to talk about it." He's still not. He's not sure why he's doing this. He'd just wanted to make Mac feel better, and now they're having a conversation he is so not prepared for.

She nods. She looks like she's starting to realize what he's said. "So, you're still interested in me, in that way? Why the hell have you been such an asshole then! You practically threw me out of your apartment the other morning!"

He's indignant. "I didn't throw you out! You ran out!"

"Because I thought you didn't want me there. Because I'm sorry and I want to try again, but I didn't think you did, and I was making a fool of myself!"

He doesn't know what to say. "Mac." He shoves his chair back from the desk and is around it before he can think. He walks right up to her, grabs her waist, and kisses her hard.

There is a moment of stunned inaction on her part, then she wraps both arms around his neck and kisses him back.

This kiss is not for the faint of heart. She grips him tightly. Her lips are almost aggressive.

He can feel her whole body against his and it's amazing. She's so familiar to him. A thought of Brian flits through his mind and he stamps down on it before it has time to form. He's not going to let this be about Brian. Brian can go fuck himself.

He makes the kiss last as long as he can. If it ends, he's worried it might never happen again. Which is totally possible, given their tumultuous history. Who even knows.

They separate finally, but not by much, and Mac slides her arms around his waist in a tight hug.

"Come on," he says. "Let's get out of here. We have to be back soon enough."

He gathers his stuff and walks with her to her office so she can get hers. The building is quiet. There's someone watching for news alerts, and a couple of other people, including Maggie, doing God knows what, but most of the staff has left for the weekend. Probably to drink away their sorrows in a way Will is still lamenting he won't be able to.

"I just want a weekend away from this place," Mac says.

"I know."

"But maybe it's good we have to come in. I can get started on prep for next week."

"When have you ever needed to prep over the weekend?" He says.

"I haven't. But we can't afford to make any more mistakes, ever. I don't want it happening."

Will knows it's true, but it sounds like a recipe for overwork and exhaustion to him.

He runs his hand down her spine in the elevator.

He has his driver waiting and Mac usually takes a cab.

"Why don't you come over?" He says.

Her eyes open in a question.

"Not for anything specific," he amends. "Just to hang out."

"I'd like that." She smiles at him.

He doesn't know if they're doing something old or something new.

They get in the car, and the anxiety reappears on her forehead. Will wants to make it go away.

"Actually," Mac says suddenly, "Could we go to my apartment? I really just need to see the inside of my own place."

"Sure," he says. "Of course." Does she still want him to come over? "Do you want to go home alone?"

"No, no, I didn't mean that. I just want to go home. I'm happy to have you there, if you still want to be."

She doesn't get it; he always wants to be there. He answers by putting his hand on her leg, and telling his driver to change direction.

They get into her apartment and order take-out. Will wants to kiss her again, but isn't sure if that's something they're doing now. He settles for coming up behind the barstool she's on and grasping her arms. He kisses the back of her head, and she leans into him.

He gently rubs up and down her arms, and it turns into a quasi-massage, starting with her shoulders going all the way down her biceps to her forearms to her fingertips. He massages the palm of each of her hands with his thumbs.

Mac has her eyes closed and her head back against his chest. Will slowly stops the massage and closes his eyes too. He can feel her heart beating in her body, and it almost feels like the same one that's beating in his. He can't tell if he's feeling his pulse or hers.

"I'm just going to get changed," Mac says eventually. She pulls away from him and heads to the bedroom.

Dinner is going to be a while, so Will sits down on the couch, and Mac joins him in a minute in leggings and a big sweatshirt.

It's odd, being here. He has such a beautiful apartment that people usually come to him instead of the other way around. It throws him off a little. He's never even seen Mac's apartment before tonight.

They talk about a couple of things, mostly people in the office. They don't talk about Genoa.

Dinner arrives, and they talk about other things, like vacation spots and travel and food. Will can see the anxiety line on Mac's face fade a little, but it doesn't disappear. Not that he expects it to; she's not going to feel better for a long time.

They finish dinner and Will doesn't want to leave, but can't think of an excuse to stay.

He looks up to see Mac's eyes on him.

"You kissed me," she says.

"-I did," he says.

"I'd like to kiss you some more. Is that alright?"

And despite of Genoa, because of Genoa, despite of everything their relationship has been through and because of it, it is alright.

"Yes," he says.

At that one word, Mac slides toward him and puts her hands on his face. She looks at him for a moment, then kisses him gently. She smoothes her tongue along the places she bit earlier, and kisses him deeply. The first kiss was not about romance. This one is.

Will's instincts are clamouring for his attention, shouting about the dangers of trusting someone who previously betrayed him. They're hard to hear, however, above how much he missed her.

The kiss become more intense and a little faster. Will sits back on the couch and Mac swings her leg over so she is straddling him. He digs his fingers into her waist and Mac hums.

She presses down onto him once, twice, and then then are tugging at each other's clothes wanting skin and contact.

Things get really fast from there. Will pulls Mac's sweater over her head and unhooks her bra, throwing it to the side. He kisses down her neck to her chest and her breasts, taking one nipple into his mouth and causing Mac to grind harder against him.

He remembers all of this from before.

He remembers how it feels when Mac undoes his jeans and slides a hand into them.

He remembers what it's like to pick her up, legs around his waist, and carry her into the bedroom.

He remembers what it's like being naked together and allowing her onto his skin and into his life. Mac produces a condom from somewhere and he puts it on.

He enters her slowly and remembers what that's like too. But this time it's better, because he also remembers what it's like when she's not around.

They flip sides a couple of times, but neither one of them is going to last long enough for fancy positions. They end up with Mac on top, her hands on his chest and his fingers on her clit.

Will can feel it when she comes, and she jerks forward onto him, kissing fervently and losing the rhythm for a minute. She starts again, though, and he looks at her, eyes open, and the sheer input from all his senses pushes him through to orgasm.

Mac collapses at his side, keeping as many of her limbs hooked around him as possible.

"I've missed you," she says.

Will wants to say something meaningful, like telling her what the voice message said, for example.

"You too," he says. And although the words aren't the same, from the tone of his voice he might as well have said_ I never stopped loving you_.

He looks down at Mac and can tell she heard it.

She sets an alarm to get up for the meeting tomorrow, and he asks her to set it an hour earlier so he can go home and change.

He stretches out in this unfamiliar bed and Mac snuggles into him.

Maybe it's not so unfamiliar after all.


End file.
